"Major Charles Rane Has Come Home to War!"

"There's a storm brewing in this man. They took his arm. They took his family... and his soul." "Rolling Thunder" Original Insert. This film is fantastic. It's about a man who comes home from Vietnam after being held as a POW in Hanoi for several years. Major Charles Rane (William Devane)and his friend Johnny (Tommy Lee Jones) return home to a great reception and Maj. Rane receives a silver dollar for every month he served his country, but when some two bit hoods see the silver dollars on TV they break into his house and steal them. His wife and daughter are killed, and the Major loses his hand in the process. Once he heals up, he sharpens his new prosthetic hand and loads up on weapons, finds the perpetrators, and he and his friend go to war again. (This is now available on Warner Archive MOD DVD and it looks fantastic.) Trailer here. From 1977.

"Lunar She-Devils Lure Earthmen Into Their Lair of Doom!"

"A Giant Fiendish Creature!" "Missile to the Moon" Original Insert. Two escaped convicts decide to hide in a rocket ship, which then takes off for the moon. This movie has great slow-moving spongy rock creatures, an all-female race of moon maidens and a goofy spider puppet. From 1958.

"The Ultimate Team Of Woman And Machine."

"The Ultimate Team Of Woman And Machine." "Cyclone" Original One Sheet. The Cyclone is a top secret, experimental bike with rocket launchers and lasers, that's run by a secret power source. Heather Thomas plays the girlfriend of Jeffrey Combs' character, the man who built it. When he's killed, it's up to her to make sure the local crime boss (Martin Landau) doesn't get a hold of the power source. One memorable scene involves Heather Thomas and a female friend talking after working out at the gym. They spend the whole time in front of the women's showers. I couldn't tell you what they were talking about. From 1987.

"The first new horror creature." "He is a human time bomb!"

"The first new horror creature." "...come prepared!" "He is a human time bomb!" "The Incredible Melting Man" Original Insert. aka "Best regards from Planet Saturn." After a space shuttle pilot is exposed to a near lethal dose of radiation, he returns to Earth and becomes disfigured and his skin starts melting. He becomes unhinged, and starts dismembering people. Supposedly, the screenplay was originally intended as a parody of horror films, but comedic scenes were edited out during production and new horror scenes added. Makeup effects were done by Rick Baker, who originally had four different stages of "melting" but sadly, all but one were cut too. Here's the trailer. From 1977.

"Curvaceous Crusaders Battle to Rebuild a Shattered Land." "Skate or Die! Original "Roller Blade" Video One Sheet. An order of switch blade wielding, rollerblading "nuns," (and I use the name nuns extremely loosely,) and other female rebels fight against a fascist state ruled by a hand puppet. Yep. You read that right, a hand puppet. I tried to watch this again for this review, but I just couldn't do it. It's horrible. Lots of gratuitous nudity though. Check your brain at the door and watch the whole movie on YouTube. From 1986.

"A Maniac is Killing Strippers. Detective Sheenan Has One Weapon to Stop Him. Her Body." Original Turkish One Sheet. The poster art makes it look better than it actually is. Roger Corman produced cop/ slasher movie about a female officer who has to go undercover to find out who's killing strippers. Available on DVD if you can find it. Cool TV Spot here, and Trailer here. 1987.

"SHE does it better than HE." "S+H+E" Original One Sheet. Art by Robert McGinnis. Cornelia Sharpe plays a female James Bond-ish character in a pilot for a TV series that never happened. Also featuring Omar Sharif and Thom Christopher (Hawk from Buck Rogers Season 2,) and an unfortunate guy named Fabio Testi. The tagline "She does it better than he!" is a reference to the song title and movie poster tagline "Nobody does it better" from "The Spy Who Loved Me." 1980. No trailer, but you can try to make it through the whole movie on youtube.

"When there's trouble, he can take it. Where there are women, he can make it. The Liquidator." Original "The Liquidator" Half Sheet. Rod Taylor plays Boysie Oakes, a previous Sergeant in World War II. He's lured into the British Secret Service and becomes a third rate assassin. Also starring the beautiful Jill St. John. Featuring a great title intro sung by Shirley Bassey (Goldfinger, Diamonds Are Forever, and Moonraker.) Trailer here. From 1965.

"When You Get to Hell, Tell 'em an Angel Sent You." "Avenging Angel" Original One Sheet. The sequel to 1984's Angel." This time Betsy Russell is Angel and she's no longer a prostitute. She's going to college when the cop that helped her get off the streets gets murdered. She and her weird street friends work together to find the killer. Good action and you get to see her undercover as a nurse. Here's the trailer. From 1985.

"Nothing Behind But Prison Bars. Nothing Ahead But Trouble." "Where they come from this is fun!" "Black Mama White Mama" Original Turkish Poster. The Turkish art is great and the U.S. One sheet is... well, not. This movie is Roger Corman's homage to "The Defiant Ones." Lee Daniels (Pam Grier) and Karen Brent (Margaret Markov) are the newest inmates at a women's prison. Since they hate each other so much, the Warden handcuffs them together and they escape. This movie is outrageously fun. There's a great catfight between the ladies. Also, in an inventive scene, Karen puts her panties around the neck of a little stray lapdog to throw the dogs off their scent. From 1973. Here's the trailer.

"100 Proof Women Running Shine 'Cross The County Line!" "Moonshine County Express" Original One Sheet. After their father is murdered, three sisters decide to take over his moonshine business. From 1977.

"Slumber Party Massacre" Original One Sheet. "The Ultimate Driller Killer Thriller." aka Sleepless Nights,Slumber Party, Don't Open the Door, The Overnight Massacre, The Slumber Party Murders. This movie's pretty good for a slasher flick. Lots of girls in lingerie, gratuitous shower scenes, and an escaped lunatic with a drill that sports a two foot bit. I love the scene where the girl decides to eat the pizza that's laying on top of the dead pizza guy. From 1982. Here's the trailer.

"Galaxina" Original One Sheet. The 1980 goofy take on Star Wars. Really only worth watching because of the gorgeous Dorothy Stratten as the title character. Here's the TV trailer.

"Five Gates to Hell" Original Insert. "The naked fury of women battling men, in a spectacle of unparalleled savagery!" In French Indochina, two Red Cross doctors and seven nurses are captured by a guerrilla band and taken to the side of a grievously ill warlord. The doctors are eventually killed, and the nurses use sex as a means of escaping their captors. From 1959. Trailer here.

"After the Fall of New York" Original One Sheet. After a nuclear war, society breaks down into two groups, the evil Euraks and the rebel Federation. The current leader of the federation tells a mercenary of a plan to send a rocket to another planet to restart the human race, since the world is full of radiation and mutants. It seems there is one fertile woman left in New York and if he can find her, his seat on the rocket is assured. This movie is actually pretty fun. It's got lots of armored future car battles, laser crossbow fights, mutants, an ape-man gang leader, etc. The fertile woman is actually a scientist's daughter; he saw what was coming and froze her. It's never explained why he strips her naked and puts her in a clear plastic suit. Check out the trailer here. From 1983.

"Luana" Original Half Sheet. aka "Luana - the Girl Tarzan," aka "Luana - Jungle Girl." "As savage as the beasts that raised her!" Mei Chen is Luana, a girl who was lost in the jungle when her father's plane went down. Typical jungle girl flick with monkey high jinks and blow-gun toting natives. Frank Frazetta art. From 1973. Trailer here. Also, "Shades of Gray" blog has a promotional comic of the film here.

"Xtro" Original One Sheet. "Some extra-terrestrials aren't friendly." A bizarre film about a father and son. The father was abducted by aliens, but returns a few years later in the form of an alien on all fours with backward legs and a forked tongue. It creeps into town and attacks a woman in a secluded house, who then gives birth to a full grown man (the father.) The movie gets more bizarre after that, because the son begins to realize that he has telekinetic powers. He uses them to animate a toy tank to attack people. Also, he makes a man-size G.I. Joe to terrorize a mean old lady in their building. Other highlights include Maryam d'Abo in a cocoon, a crazy clown and an unexplained panther. Actually, the best part of the DVD is the interview with the director. He admits the movie is a piece of crap and that he just tried to make the grossest film he could. Also, he tells how he's watching the news a few years after the video release and they've caught a serial killer. They're looking around his home and the camera zooms in on a bunch of so-called "video nasties." "Xtro" is right in the middle. Ha ha. From 1983. Trailer here.

"The Nest" Original One Sheet. "Roaches have never tasted meat... Until now." A biological experiment on roaches in an island community creates mutant man-eating cockroaches. Also, whatever they chow down on becomes a part of the DNA of the next generation, so you get to see people-roaches, cat-roaches, etc. Possibly the inspiration for the "Mimic" films, which have a similar plot line. Pretty boring. The scene on the poster never takes place either. 1987. Trailer here.

"War Goddess" aka "Terence Young's Amazons" Original One Sheet. "Women Warriors as Sensuous as they are Savage. Women Rulers as Passionate as they are Powerful." The 1975 film about a tribe of wild Amazons. Every 4 years, a new Queen is chosen for the Amazons through intense competition and battle, including wrestling, javelin throwing, climbing challenges and horse racing (while whipping other contestants.) In order to compete, each woman must bring the head of a man. The Amazon women enjoy a fine existence, except for once a year when they must breed with men to further their race.

Director Terence Young and colleagues reviewed 14,000 photographs and conducted "Miss Amazon" contests in Trieste, Paris, Hamburg, Munich, Rome and Nice to come up with the 100 women who are the "Amazons." They then endured a six-week training regimen that included riding, calisthenics and running from early in the morning until lights out. They did mostly their own stunts too; several girls had broken legs and one lost a finger under a chariot wheel!

It was filmed in Spain. The original is 105 minutes, but the U.S. release (War Goddess) is a cut up 89 minutes. There is a Japanese DVD that has English language that clocks in at 103 minutes. Here's the trailer. Contains nudity. From 1973. Also see my movie program.

"Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires" Original International One Sheet. aka "The 7 Brothers Meet Dracula." "Deadly Horrors! Dragon Thrills! The First Kung Fu Horror Spectacular!" While lecturing in the Far East, Professor Van Helsing (Peter Cushing) tells his students of a doomed village in China that becomes cursed every year at the time of the 7th moon. Van Helsing is persuaded by a family of kung fu experts to rid the village of the 7 vampires that torment its citizens. He is joined by seven brothers and one sister, who help him fight Count Dracula (in the guise of a local warlord,) and his kung fu vampire minions. Whew! This movie's actually pretty good. Christopher Lee turned down the chance to play Dracula this time after the not-so-great "Dracula AD 1972," although it's obvious that they used a close up of his eyes when Dracula is brought back from the dead near the beginning. Good stuff. Also, be on the lookout for a "Wilhelm Scream" during the big fight scene at the village (at 1hr 12mns) when Van Helsing shoves a zombie into the fire pit. From 1974. Trailer here.