Thursday, September 30, 2010

"George A. Romero's Night of the Living Dead" Original One Sheet. "There IS a fate worse than death." This is for the 1990 remake of "Night of the Living Dead." Something is making the recently deceased reanimate in the form of flesh-eating zombies, and a group of people fortify an old house and attempt to survive the night. I personally like this remake better than the original, just because of Patricia Tallman's portrayal of Barbara. In the original, Barbara spent the entire movie cringing in fear and screaming at everything. In the remake, she adapts pretty quickly and starts fighting back. Here's the trailer.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

"Angels Brigade" Original One Sheet. Aka "Angels' Revenge" and my favorite, "Seven From Heaven." "Seven super sexy girls take on the bad guys in an explosion of wild action, crazy stunts, and loads of laughs!" Jack Palance, Jim Backus (Mr. Howell from Gilligan's Island,) and Alan Hale Jr. (The Skipper from Gilligan's Island) must have lost one hell of a bet to end up in this stinker. A school teacher who's trying to get her students off of drugs recruits a famous singer, a stunt woman, a karate teacher, and various other female experts to shut down a drug ring. (Apparently today's karate lesson with little kids involves a samurai sword. Ridiculous.) I wrote down a few quotes too:
-Police Guy: "We can't have a bunch of broads running around."
-April: "Just push that button and whoever was following us BOOM!, ain't no more." MST3K tore this apart under the name "Angels' Revenge." From 1979.

Monday, September 20, 2010

"Runaway" Original One Sheet. "You can't run away, Ramsay. My little machines will find you wherever you go." A great Michael Crichton sci-fi flick about a police officer in a future where robots are a part of life: They help with household tasks and perform all sorts of manual labor. Unfortunately, some of them are running out of control and killing people. A psychotic man (Gene Simmons, believe it or not,) is reprogramming them to kill. This movie's great! It has speeding robots that can drive under cars going full speed and detonate, little spider robots that attack and inject venom in their victim, and my personal favorite: a bullet that can be programmed to assassinate a certain person, and will even follow them around corners. From 1984. Here's the trailer.
"Hired Killer" Original Insert. "He had money to burn... Women to kiss... And men to kill!" Aka "No Tears for a Killer." A story about a hitman who's just got one more case to finish so he can retire. This one stars Robert Webber. From 1966.
"Ms. 45" Original One Sheet. "It will never happen again." Aka "Angel of Vengeance." Thana, a mute woman (Zoë Lund), becomes a crazed vigilante after she is raped. She runs around town at night, killing men with a .45 handgun. From IMDB: The name of Zoë Lund's character, Thana, is reminiscent of the Greek god of death, "Thanatos". Sigmund Freud used the word to refer to the human "death instinct", which leads people to take risks, seek thrills or behave destructively in ways that could lead to death. I don't know if the movie's any good, but the poster's always been one of my favorites. From 1981. Trailer.
"The Perils of Pauline" Original Half Sheet. A young Pauline (Pamela Austin) is left on the doorstep of the Baskerville Foundling Home, and is taken in and raised. George Steadman (Pat Boone), a boy roughly her own age, falls in love with her and foils all attempts to have her adopted out. Kicked out, he goes in search of his fortune so that he can return and earn Pauline's hand in marriage. Pauline then gets a job tutoring a young prince in the Middle East, only for the prince to decide he wants her in his harem. Fleeing, she goes from peril to peril where she is sold to pygmies in Darkest Africa, is rescued by an old millionaire who wants to freeze her so that his one year-old grandson can marry her in 25 years time and later becomes a movie star and goes into space as a Russian cosmonaut. While all the time she is pursued by mad, big game hunter, Sten Martin (Terry Thomas). Well, you get the picture. This movie is actually a TV pilot that was never picked up. I'd love to see it. 1967.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

"The Name of the Game is Kill" Original insert. Also known as "The Female Trap." A drifter meets a girl named Mickey (Susan Strasberg) while driving the desert highways. Mickey runs a last-chance gas station in the desert with her mother and three sisters. This guy falls for her without realizing the danger, and when he is invited to stay with her strange family things go downhill fast. I saw this cult film a few years back on VHS. It was pretty good but drags on until the end, when things finally get interesting. It's from 1968 and you can see the trailer here.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

"Cave Girl" Original One Sheet. While on a school field trip, an aspiring paleontologist stumbles upon a strange jewel that sends him back in time. There, he meets a beautiful blond cave girl who is fascinated by him. This is a silly comedy from 1985 that's actually kind of funny. Here's the trailer. (Contains nudity.)
"Angel of H.E.A.T" Original One Sheet. Great art on the poster, possibly by Drew Struzan. Does anyone know? "Action star" Marilyn Chambers stars as Angel Harmony, an agent of an organization called H.E.A.T (you never find out what the acronym stands for.) This horrific action comedy has something to do with androids, microchips, and a fat mad scientist in a black and purple cape but I just couldn't make it through. What a turkey. It's from 1983.

Sunday, September 5, 2010

"The People That Time Forgot" Original Half Sheet. The 1977 sequel to Edgar Rice Burroughs' "The Land That Time Forgot." Major McBride (Patrick Wayne) heads a mission to Antarctica to search for his friend (Doug McClure,) who disappeared in the region on an earlier expedition. They discover a hidden world filled with danger, dinosaurs, the busty Ajor (Dana Gillespie,) and enough explosions to make Michael Bay jealous. I love this movie, and it's actually available on DVD. Here's the trailer.
"September Storm" Original Insert. "You see it with special viewers scientifically designed by master craftsmen!" Ha ha. Really? Not just crappy cardboard 3D glasses? Based upon the book "The Girl in the Red Bikini," by Steve Fisher. A model and a group of adventurers search for a million dollars' worth of gold coins that went down with an African ship in the Mediterranean. I've never seen this one, but it's hard to find a good review so potential viewers beware. It's from 1960.

Saturday, September 4, 2010

"Joysticks" Original Insert. Silly 80's comedy about a video arcade that's the local hangout. When a rich business owner tries to shut it down to make room for development, and keep his daughter out of trouble, the patrons and owners get together to stop it. Sort of funny comedy, but the "valley girl" voice is SO irritating. I dare you to watch it. Trailer here.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

"The Final Terror" Original One Sheet. They must have thought Rachel Ward was a big star, because they made her name float a little higher than everyone else on the poster credits. Heh heh. I got this poster for five bucks. "The Final Terror" is a slasher flick about a group of aspiring park rangers camping and working with a killer stalking them. Mostly known for having Daryl Hannah in a minor part, before she made it big in "Splash" the next year. I waited and waited for Netflix to send this movie until I spotted it on Youtube and finally watched it there. (It looks like they removed it now.)