"The Ultimate Team Of Woman And Machine."

"The Ultimate Team Of Woman And Machine." "Cyclone" Original One Sheet. The Cyclone is a top secret, experimental bike with rocket launchers and lasers, that's run by a secret power source. Heather Thomas plays the girlfriend of Jeffrey Combs' character, the man who built it. When he's killed, it's up to her to make sure the local crime boss (Martin Landau) doesn't get a hold of the power source. One memorable scene involves Heather Thomas and a female friend talking after working out at the gym. They spend the whole time in front of the women's showers. I couldn't tell you what they were talking about. From 1987.

"Curvaceous Crusaders Battle to Rebuild a Shattered Land." "Skate or Die! Original "Roller Blade" Video One Sheet. An order of switch blade wielding, rollerblading "nuns," (and I use the name nuns extremely loosely,) and other female rebels fight against a fascist state ruled by a hand puppet. Yep. You read that right, a hand puppet. I tried to watch this again for this review, but I just couldn't do it. It's horrible. Lots of gratuitous nudity though. Check your brain at the door and watch the whole movie on YouTube. From 1986.

"A Maniac is Killing Strippers. Detective Sheenan Has One Weapon to Stop Him. Her Body." Original Turkish One Sheet. The poster art makes it look better than it actually is. Roger Corman produced cop/ slasher movie about a female officer who has to go undercover to find out who's killing strippers. Available on DVD if you can find it. Cool TV Spot here, and Trailer here. 1987.

"When You Get to Hell, Tell 'em an Angel Sent You." "Avenging Angel" Original One Sheet. The sequel to 1984's Angel." This time Betsy Russell is Angel and she's no longer a prostitute. She's going to college when the cop that helped her get off the streets gets murdered. She and her weird street friends work together to find the killer. Good action and you get to see her undercover as a nurse. Here's the trailer. From 1985.

"100 Proof Women Running Shine 'Cross The County Line!" "Moonshine County Express" Original One Sheet. After their father is murdered, three sisters decide to take over his moonshine business. From 1977.

"Slumber Party Massacre" Original One Sheet. "The Ultimate Driller Killer Thriller." aka Sleepless Nights,Slumber Party, Don't Open the Door, The Overnight Massacre, The Slumber Party Murders. This movie's pretty good for a slasher flick. Lots of girls in lingerie, gratuitous shower scenes, and an escaped lunatic with a drill that sports a two foot bit. I love the scene where the girl decides to eat the pizza that's laying on top of the dead pizza guy. From 1982. Here's the trailer.

"Galaxina" Original One Sheet. The 1980 goofy take on Star Wars. Really only worth watching because of the gorgeous Dorothy Stratten as the title character. Here's the TV trailer.

"After the Fall of New York" Original One Sheet. After a nuclear war, society breaks down into two groups, the evil Euraks and the rebel Federation. The current leader of the federation tells a mercenary of a plan to send a rocket to another planet to restart the human race, since the world is full of radiation and mutants. It seems there is one fertile woman left in New York and if he can find her, his seat on the rocket is assured. This movie is actually pretty fun. It's got lots of armored future car battles, laser crossbow fights, mutants, an ape-man gang leader, etc. The fertile woman is actually a scientist's daughter; he saw what was coming and froze her. It's never explained why he strips her naked and puts her in a clear plastic suit. Check out the trailer here. From 1983.

"Xtro" Original One Sheet. "Some extra-terrestrials aren't friendly." A bizarre film about a father and son. The father was abducted by aliens, but returns a few years later in the form of an alien on all fours with backward legs and a forked tongue. It creeps into town and attacks a woman in a secluded house, who then gives birth to a full grown man (the father.) The movie gets more bizarre after that, because the son begins to realize that he has telekinetic powers. He uses them to animate a toy tank to attack people. Also, he makes a man-size G.I. Joe to terrorize a mean old lady in their building. Other highlights include Maryam d'Abo in a cocoon, a crazy clown and an unexplained panther. Actually, the best part of the DVD is the interview with the director. He admits the movie is a piece of crap and that he just tried to make the grossest film he could. Also, he tells how he's watching the news a few years after the video release and they've caught a serial killer. They're looking around his home and the camera zooms in on a bunch of so-called "video nasties." "Xtro" is right in the middle. Ha ha. From 1983. Trailer here.

"The Nest" Original One Sheet. "Roaches have never tasted meat... Until now." A biological experiment on roaches in an island community creates mutant man-eating cockroaches. Also, whatever they chow down on becomes a part of the DNA of the next generation, so you get to see people-roaches, cat-roaches, etc. Possibly the inspiration for the "Mimic" films, which have a similar plot line. Pretty boring. The scene on the poster never takes place either. 1987. Trailer here.

"War Goddess" aka "Terence Young's Amazons" Original One Sheet. "Women Warriors as Sensuous as they are Savage. Women Rulers as Passionate as they are Powerful." The 1975 film about a tribe of wild Amazons. Every 4 years, a new Queen is chosen for the Amazons through intense competition and battle, including wrestling, javelin throwing, climbing challenges and horse racing (while whipping other contestants.) In order to compete, each woman must bring the head of a man. The Amazon women enjoy a fine existence, except for once a year when they must breed with men to further their race.

Director Terence Young and colleagues reviewed 14,000 photographs and conducted "Miss Amazon" contests in Trieste, Paris, Hamburg, Munich, Rome and Nice to come up with the 100 women who are the "Amazons." They then endured a six-week training regimen that included riding, calisthenics and running from early in the morning until lights out. They did mostly their own stunts too; several girls had broken legs and one lost a finger under a chariot wheel!

It was filmed in Spain. The original is 105 minutes, but the U.S. release (War Goddess) is a cut up 89 minutes. There is a Japanese DVD that has English language that clocks in at 103 minutes. Here's the trailer. Contains nudity. From 1973. Also see my movie program.

"Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires" Original International One Sheet. aka "The 7 Brothers Meet Dracula." "Deadly Horrors! Dragon Thrills! The First Kung Fu Horror Spectacular!" While lecturing in the Far East, Professor Van Helsing (Peter Cushing) tells his students of a doomed village in China that becomes cursed every year at the time of the 7th moon. Van Helsing is persuaded by a family of kung fu experts to rid the village of the 7 vampires that torment its citizens. He is joined by seven brothers and one sister, who help him fight Count Dracula (in the guise of a local warlord,) and his kung fu vampire minions. Whew! This movie's actually pretty good. Christopher Lee turned down the chance to play Dracula this time after the not-so-great "Dracula AD 1972," although it's obvious that they used a close up of his eyes when Dracula is brought back from the dead near the beginning. Good stuff. Also, be on the lookout for a "Wilhelm Scream" during the big fight scene at the village (at 1hr 12mns) when Van Helsing shoves a zombie into the fire pit. From 1974. Trailer here.

"Buck Rogers" (in the 25th Century) Original Style B One Sheet. The feature film that's actually the pilot to the hit TV series. In the year 1984, astronaut Captain William "Buck" Rogers is frozen when his life support fails and he is sent into a vast, slowly deteriorating orbit around Earth. By the time he reaches Earth, it's the year 2491. The Earth has changed drastically. When he lands, he meets the beautiful Colonel Wilma Deering (Erin Grey) and the robot Twiki (voiced by Mel Blanc.) Another highlight is Pamela Hensley as Princess Ardala. 1979. Trailer here.

"Incubus" Original One Sheet. "It is real. It is alive. It is among us." An incubus, a sexual demon that preys on women, is stalking the town of Galen. The film also features the band Samson. (Bruce Dickinson's band from before Iron Maiden.) I've never seen the movie but have always liked this version of the One Sheet poster. I believe it's Drew Struzan art. Here's the trailer. From 1981.

"2 Days in the Valley" Original One Sheet. (There are at least 3 different styles of this poster. I believe mine is relatively rare. See a comparison here.) "2 Days in the Valley" is a great film from 1996 with a fantastic cast of characters whose stories all come together by the end of the film. It includes some great actors, such as Danny Aiello, James Spader, Teri Hatcher, Charlize Theron, Jeff Daniels and Eric Stoltz. I remember seeing this in the theater and renting the laserdisc some time later. I also remember one of the tracks on the laserdisc was titled "Spandex Catfight." A real classic. It really needs a nice release since the DVD is pretty low quality. Here's the trailer.

"Horror Planet" Original One Sheet. "A crawling terror from the depths of doom!" "Horror Planet" is the U.S. cut version of the U.K. film "Inseminoid." On a distant planet, in a series of caves, a group of archeologists find an alien creature. It impregnates one of the team who then starts killing her coworkers to protect the alien babies. This movie is terrible. Super low budget and you never really get a clear shot of any aliens. Here's the trailer for "Inseminoid." It sort of contains nudity... I think. It's kind of hard to tell. 1981.

"Night of the Comet" Original One Sheet. A rogue comet is spotted and the Earth is expected to pass through it's tail, an event which hasn't happened for 65 million years. Hmm, isn't that when the dinosaurs became extinct? Everyone who turns out to watch the comet is predictably fried. Those with minimal exposure are turned into zombies, and those with no exposure are unaffected. Two sisters, Regina (Catherine Mary Stewart) and Sam (Kelli Maroney) are left in an empty world filled with living dead. They must learn to defend themselves and fire automatic weapons. Expect lots of '80s music, '80s hair and '80s terms like "Bitchin'" It's from 1984. Trailer.

"Species 2" Original Lenticular One Sheet. "Species 2" is the 1998 sequel to "Species" from 1995. This time, the alien creature from the first film has been cloned and is being studied to find weaknesses, in case of an invasion. Her name is Eve, and she's once again played by Natasha Henstridge. Meanwhile, a manned mission to Mars yields soil samples that contain alien DNA. Apparently, Mars was once a living, thriving planet until the aliens decimated all life, and now the alien DNA has infected and changed one of the astronauts. If he is allowed to mate with Eve, it's all over. A photo just didn't do this poster justice so I made a short HD video. Here's the trailer.

"Munchies" Original One Sheet. An alien obsessed Professor, (Harvey Korman from The Carol Burnett show) finds what he believes to be an extra terrestrial, while exploring some caves in Peru. He and his dumb comedian son bring it back to Civilization and mayhem ensues. This is Roger Corman's rip off of "Gremlins," "Ghoulies" and "Critters." Unfortunately, it's nowhere near as good as any of those. The Munchies themselves are so obviously hand puppets, and to top it off, the poster even rips off "The Woman in Red." Strangely, it has Nadine Van der Velde, who was the young girl in "Critters," another small creature movie from the previous year. It's from 1987 and here's the trailer.

"George A. Romero's Night of the Living Dead" Original One Sheet. "There IS a fate worse than death." This is for the 1990 remake of "Night of the Living Dead." Something is making the recently deceased reanimate in the form of flesh-eating zombies, and a group of people fortify an old house and attempt to survive the night. I personally like this remake better than the original, just because of Patricia Tallman's portrayal of Barbara. In the original, Barbara spent the entire movie cringing in fear and screaming at everything. In the remake, she adapts pretty quickly and starts fighting back. Here's the trailer.