Saturday, September 1, 2012

"The Ultimate Team Of Woman And Machine."

"The Ultimate Team Of Woman And Machine." "Cyclone" Original One Sheet. The Cyclone is a top secret, experimental bike with rocket launchers and lasers, that's run by a secret power source. Heather Thomas plays the girlfriend of Jeffrey Combs' character, the man who built it. When he's killed, it's up to her to make sure the local crime boss (Martin Landau) doesn't get a hold of the power source. One memorable scene involves Heather Thomas and a female friend talking after working out at the gym. They spend the whole time in front of the women's showers. I couldn't tell you what they were talking about. From 1987.

Friday, August 24, 2012

"The first new horror creature." "He is a human time bomb!"

"The first new horror creature." "...come prepared!" "He is a human time bomb!" "The Incredible Melting Man" Original Insert. aka "Best regards from Planet Saturn." After a space shuttle pilot is exposed to a near lethal dose of radiation, he returns to Earth and becomes disfigured and his skin starts melting. He becomes unhinged, and starts dismembering people. Supposedly, the screenplay was originally intended as a parody of horror films, but comedic scenes were edited out during production and new horror scenes added. Makeup effects were done by Rick Baker, who originally had four different stages of "melting" but sadly, all but one were cut too. Here's the trailer. From 1977.

Sunday, June 17, 2012

"She Lives. Don't Move. Don't Breathe. She Will Find You." "Prophecy" Original insert. I didn't specifically set out to get this poster. It was part of a set of posters I acquired, but I'm glad I did. The art is gorgeous and it's in mint condition.

The Native American tribes who live in the forest have a legend about a giant beast named "Ka Tah Din," who protects the forest and has a bond with every living thing. Well, in reality, it's a giant mutated bear that has been caused by the local paper mill dumping mercury in to the lake. This is a great "Ecology Gone Berserk" title. Bad-ass teaser trailer here. From 1979.

Sunday, June 10, 2012

"Curvaceous Crusaders Battle to Rebuild a Shattered Land." "Skate or Die! Original "Roller Blade" Video One Sheet. An order of switch blade wielding, rollerblading "nuns," (and I use the name nuns extremely loosely,) and other female rebels fight against a fascist state ruled by a hand puppet. Yep. You read that right, a hand puppet. I tried to watch this again for this review, but I just couldn't do it. It's horrible. Lots of gratuitous nudity though. Check your brain at the door and watch the whole movie on YouTube. From 1986.

Sunday, June 3, 2012

"A Maniac is Killing Strippers. Detective Sheenan Has One Weapon to Stop Him. Her Body." Original Turkish One Sheet. The poster art makes it look better than it actually is. Roger Corman produced cop/ slasher movie about a female officer who has to go undercover to find out who's killing strippers. Available on DVD if you can find it. Cool TV Spot here, and Trailer here. 1987.

Sunday, May 20, 2012

"SHE does it better than HE." "S+H+E" Original One Sheet. Art by Robert McGinnis. Cornelia Sharpe plays a female James Bond-ish character in a pilot for a TV series that never happened. Also featuring Omar Sharif and Thom Christopher (Hawk from Buck Rogers Season 2,) and an unfortunate guy named Fabio Testi. The tagline "She does it better than he!" is a reference to the song title and movie poster tagline "Nobody does it better" from "The Spy Who Loved Me." 1980. No trailer, but you can try to make it through the whole movie on youtube.

Saturday, May 19, 2012

"THEY BREED. THEY HATCH. THEY KILL. Maybe it's just a phase they're going through." "There's a bad bug goin' around." Blue Monkey Original Video One Sheet. No monkeys, blue or otherwise. No idea where the name comes from. The monster is more like a giant fly that terrorizes a hospital. Also known as "Insect," which makes more sense. In one pivotal scene, the insect is flying around trying to get the main characters, but is obviously just being swung around on a cable. Unbelievable. Only available on VHS and BETA, which may be a good thing. Trailer here. From 1987.

Friday, May 18, 2012

"When there's trouble, he can take it. Where there are women, he can make it. The Liquidator." Original "The Liquidator" Half Sheet. Rod Taylor plays Boysie Oakes, a previous Sergeant in World War II. He's lured into the British Secret Service and becomes a third rate assassin. Also starring the beautiful Jill St. John. Featuring a great title intro sung by Shirley Bassey (Goldfinger, Diamonds Are Forever, and Moonraker.) Trailer here. From 1965.