"The Ultimate Team Of Woman And Machine."

"The Ultimate Team Of Woman And Machine." "Cyclone" Original One Sheet. The Cyclone is a top secret, experimental bike with rocket launchers and lasers, that's run by a secret power source. Heather Thomas plays the girlfriend of Jeffrey Combs' character, the man who built it. When he's killed, it's up to her to make sure the local crime boss (Martin Landau) doesn't get a hold of the power source. One memorable scene involves Heather Thomas and a female friend talking after working out at the gym. They spend the whole time in front of the women's showers. I couldn't tell you what they were talking about. From 1987.

"The first new horror creature." "He is a human time bomb!"

"The first new horror creature." "...come prepared!" "He is a human time bomb!" "The Incredible Melting Man" Original Insert. aka "Best regards from Planet Saturn." After a space shuttle pilot is exposed to a near lethal dose of radiation, he returns to Earth and becomes disfigured and his skin starts melting. He becomes unhinged, and starts dismembering people. Supposedly, the screenplay was originally intended as a parody of horror films, but comedic scenes were edited out during production and new horror scenes added. Makeup effects were done by Rick Baker, who originally had four different stages of "melting" but sadly, all but one were cut too. Here's the trailer. From 1977.

"A Maniac is Killing Strippers. Detective Sheenan Has One Weapon to Stop Him. Her Body." Original Turkish One Sheet. The poster art makes it look better than it actually is. Roger Corman produced cop/ slasher movie about a female officer who has to go undercover to find out who's killing strippers. Available on DVD if you can find it. Cool TV Spot here, and Trailer here. 1987.

"SHE does it better than HE." "S+H+E" Original One Sheet. Art by Robert McGinnis. Cornelia Sharpe plays a female James Bond-ish character in a pilot for a TV series that never happened. Also featuring Omar Sharif and Thom Christopher (Hawk from Buck Rogers Season 2,) and an unfortunate guy named Fabio Testi. The tagline "She does it better than he!" is a reference to the song title and movie poster tagline "Nobody does it better" from "The Spy Who Loved Me." 1980. No trailer, but you can try to make it through the whole movie on youtube.

"THEY BREED. THEY HATCH. THEY KILL. Maybe it's just a phase they're going through." "There's a bad bug goin' around." Blue Monkey Original Video One Sheet. No monkeys, blue or otherwise. No idea where the name comes from. The monster is more like a giant fly that terrorizes a hospital. Also known as "Insect," which makes more sense. In one pivotal scene, the insect is flying around trying to get the main characters, but is obviously just being swung around on a cable. Unbelievable. Only available on VHS and BETA, which may be a good thing. Trailer here. From 1987.

"When there's trouble, he can take it. Where there are women, he can make it. The Liquidator." Original "The Liquidator" Half Sheet. Rod Taylor plays Boysie Oakes, a previous Sergeant in World War II. He's lured into the British Secret Service and becomes a third rate assassin. Also starring the beautiful Jill St. John. Featuring a great title intro sung by Shirley Bassey (Goldfinger, Diamonds Are Forever, and Moonraker.) Trailer here. From 1965.

"When You Get to Hell, Tell 'em an Angel Sent You." "Avenging Angel" Original One Sheet. The sequel to 1984's Angel." This time Betsy Russell is Angel and she's no longer a prostitute. She's going to college when the cop that helped her get off the streets gets murdered. She and her weird street friends work together to find the killer. Good action and you get to see her undercover as a nurse. Here's the trailer. From 1985.

"Nothing Behind But Prison Bars. Nothing Ahead But Trouble." "Where they come from this is fun!" "Black Mama White Mama" Original Turkish Poster. The Turkish art is great and the U.S. One sheet is... well, not. This movie is Roger Corman's homage to "The Defiant Ones." Lee Daniels (Pam Grier) and Karen Brent (Margaret Markov) are the newest inmates at a women's prison. Since they hate each other so much, the Warden handcuffs them together and they escape. This movie is outrageously fun. There's a great catfight between the ladies. Also, in an inventive scene, Karen puts her panties around the neck of a little stray lapdog to throw the dogs off their scent. From 1973. Here's the trailer.

"100 Proof Women Running Shine 'Cross The County Line!" "Moonshine County Express" Original One Sheet. After their father is murdered, three sisters decide to take over his moonshine business. From 1977.

"Five Gates to Hell" Original Insert. "The naked fury of women battling men, in a spectacle of unparalleled savagery!" In French Indochina, two Red Cross doctors and seven nurses are captured by a guerrilla band and taken to the side of a grievously ill warlord. The doctors are eventually killed, and the nurses use sex as a means of escaping their captors. From 1959. Trailer here.

"After the Fall of New York" Original One Sheet. After a nuclear war, society breaks down into two groups, the evil Euraks and the rebel Federation. The current leader of the federation tells a mercenary of a plan to send a rocket to another planet to restart the human race, since the world is full of radiation and mutants. It seems there is one fertile woman left in New York and if he can find her, his seat on the rocket is assured. This movie is actually pretty fun. It's got lots of armored future car battles, laser crossbow fights, mutants, an ape-man gang leader, etc. The fertile woman is actually a scientist's daughter; he saw what was coming and froze her. It's never explained why he strips her naked and puts her in a clear plastic suit. Check out the trailer here. From 1983.

"Luana" Original Half Sheet. aka "Luana - the Girl Tarzan," aka "Luana - Jungle Girl." "As savage as the beasts that raised her!" Mei Chen is Luana, a girl who was lost in the jungle when her father's plane went down. Typical jungle girl flick with monkey high jinks and blow-gun toting natives. Frank Frazetta art. From 1973. Trailer here. Also, "Shades of Gray" blog has a promotional comic of the film here.

"Xtro" Original One Sheet. "Some extra-terrestrials aren't friendly." A bizarre film about a father and son. The father was abducted by aliens, but returns a few years later in the form of an alien on all fours with backward legs and a forked tongue. It creeps into town and attacks a woman in a secluded house, who then gives birth to a full grown man (the father.) The movie gets more bizarre after that, because the son begins to realize that he has telekinetic powers. He uses them to animate a toy tank to attack people. Also, he makes a man-size G.I. Joe to terrorize a mean old lady in their building. Other highlights include Maryam d'Abo in a cocoon, a crazy clown and an unexplained panther. Actually, the best part of the DVD is the interview with the director. He admits the movie is a piece of crap and that he just tried to make the grossest film he could. Also, he tells how he's watching the news a few years after the video release and they've caught a serial killer. They're looking around his home and the camera zooms in on a bunch of so-called "video nasties." "Xtro" is right in the middle. Ha ha. From 1983. Trailer here.

"The Nest" Original One Sheet. "Roaches have never tasted meat... Until now." A biological experiment on roaches in an island community creates mutant man-eating cockroaches. Also, whatever they chow down on becomes a part of the DNA of the next generation, so you get to see people-roaches, cat-roaches, etc. Possibly the inspiration for the "Mimic" films, which have a similar plot line. Pretty boring. The scene on the poster never takes place either. 1987. Trailer here.

"Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires" Original International One Sheet. aka "The 7 Brothers Meet Dracula." "Deadly Horrors! Dragon Thrills! The First Kung Fu Horror Spectacular!" While lecturing in the Far East, Professor Van Helsing (Peter Cushing) tells his students of a doomed village in China that becomes cursed every year at the time of the 7th moon. Van Helsing is persuaded by a family of kung fu experts to rid the village of the 7 vampires that torment its citizens. He is joined by seven brothers and one sister, who help him fight Count Dracula (in the guise of a local warlord,) and his kung fu vampire minions. Whew! This movie's actually pretty good. Christopher Lee turned down the chance to play Dracula this time after the not-so-great "Dracula AD 1972," although it's obvious that they used a close up of his eyes when Dracula is brought back from the dead near the beginning. Good stuff. Also, be on the lookout for a "Wilhelm Scream" during the big fight scene at the village (at 1hr 12mns) when Van Helsing shoves a zombie into the fire pit. From 1974. Trailer here.

"Scanners" Original Insert. An experimental tranquilizer called Ephemerol, which was used on pregnant women, fails due to an unseen side effect on unborn children: It creates scanners. (Psychics with the ability to control minds, cause intense pain and in some cases, kill.) When the strongest of the Scanners starts an underground movement tasked with world domination, only other Scanners can stop him. I love this movie and although the poster art gives away the ending, the poster is great too. It spawned 3 sequels: "Scanners II: The New Order" (1991), "Scanners III: The Takeover" (1992) and "Scanner Cop" (1995). Here's the trailer. 1981.

"Heavy Metal" Original Half Sheet. "A shadow shall fall over the universe, and evil will grow in its path... and death will come from the skies." An animated sci-fi anthology based upon stories from Heavy Metal magazine that are tied together with a story about a flying orb containing the essence of evil, called the Loch-nar. Actors contributing their voice talent include John Candy, Harold Ramis and Eugene Levy. Interestingly, Elmer Bernstein's theme for Taarna was actually written for the character of Alex in "Saturn 3" (1980). The theme was never heard in the film, so Bernstein used it for this film. From 1981. Here's the trailer.

"Dreamscape" Original Insert. A psychic, (Dennis Quaid) who's able to project himself into people's dreams, is recruited by a Government agency to stop an assassination attempt against the President of the United States. Another cool poster with art by Drew Struzan. I remember the snake man in this movie scaring the crap out of me. From 1984. Here's the trailer.

"Critters 3" Original Video Poster. "You are what they eat!" As much as I like the more or less continuing saga that is "Critters," this movie is just awful. The Critters hitch a ride on a camper and end up in a poor neighborhood tenement apartment building. Why is the third sequel always the worst? *AHEM* "Spiderman 3 - The Musical." Anyway, this is Leonardo DiCaprio's film debut, and I can't decide if that's good or bad. I've always wondered what an actor would say if you ran up to them and said "Leonardo DiCaprio? Hey, you were in Critters 3! Can I have your autograph?!" Ha ha. But, back to the poster: I love the art. If you look closely, you can see it's a really well-done painting. Sort of like Critters Do NY. Here's the trailer. From 1991.

"So Fine" Original Insert. "A revealing comedy." When his father develops money problems, a man comes up with an idea that turns into an unexpected overnight fashion success - women's bluejeans with vinyl windows, exposing the butt cheeks. Ha ha. Okay, just so you know, I didn't buy this poster. It came in a lot of ten when I bought my "Scanners" insert. Here's a fake commercial for the jeans. Unbelievable. From 1981.